Words Hurt!

People can make many mistakes along the path of life, we say things to loved ones that we later regret and don't really mean, we can do things to unintentionally (or intentionally for that matter) to hurt others. But for most of us in this world our words do not reach a large audience unlike celebrities.

I believe that when you are in a position of influence whether it be because of power, money or fame, there comes a strong responsibility to use your words carefully and in a respectful manner. 

I don't want to use my blog to trigger hate or cause people to resort to name calling, so I will try to use my words as  eloquently  as possible while writing this.

In light of the increase in awareness of depression on social media following the passing of Mr. Robin Williams, a response in an interview that Gene Simmons (of the band KISS) gave, angered a lot of people.  Mr. Simmons was interviewed by Songfacts.com on July 31, 2014 in which he made some comments about addiction, alcholism, and depression that came across as insensitive. 

(Follow the link here for the interview: 

http://www.songfacts.com/blog/interviews/gene_simmons_of_kiss/ )

After the back lash of the public responding unfavorably, he issued an apology which has been taken as damage control and not a genuine attempt to understand the nature of addiction and depression. 

(Follow the link for the full statement:  

http://www.billboard.com/articles/news/6221694/gene-simmons-apologizes-for-comments-on-depression-made-without-regard-for )

After I read the apology and some of the comments left by fans and ex-fans, I felt the need to get my feelings out about the response to his statement.

I understand that his fans want to take the apology at face value, and my hope is that he really meant it. However, I don't quite think that he has the understanding of depression quite yet. While I have depression with no chemical dependency or alcohol abuse, I do understand that addiction goes hand in hand. An addiction with depression can stem from anything, shopping, food, drugs, alcohol, physical self-harm (e.g. cutting) or even sex. My addiction happens to be food.

I really hope that Mr. Simmons really takes the time to learn about depression and the connection to addiction. 

To sum things up I would like to end with the definitions of addiction and self-harm:

ad·dic·tion noun \ə-ˈdik-shən, a-\

: a strong and harmful need to regularly have something (such as a drug) or do something (such as gamble)

: an unusually great interest in something or a need to do or have something

Full Definition of ADDICTION

1:  the quality or state of being addicted <addiction to reading>

2:  compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance (as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal;broadly :  persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful

self-harm

 self-harm Pronunciation: /sɛlfˈhɑːm    /

NOUN

[MASS NOUN]

Deliberate injury to oneself, typically as a manifestation of a psychological or psychiatric disorder.

VERB

[NO OBJECT]   

Commit self-harm.

A Must See TED Talk! Subject: Depression

When I feel my mood starting to shift to that darkest of places, when I become indifferent to things around me and the joy is fading, it sometimes help to learn what I can about depression and the ways that other people cope. 

Watching a video on line or reading books makes the " dark monster" feel tangible. I close my eyes and imagine a picture of my brain focusing on the part that is "short circuiting", this leads me to imagine what the monster looks like (for me it's a small sphere shaped black ball). By giving it an image I am able to pull it out (figuratively speaking) as something that is part of my body and health, switching from the idea that it is something hiding in the depths of my soul. It is not a fault in my personality, it is a faulty system in my brain. 

Although this post is short, it is intense to talk about so I will simply end with a post of a Ted Talk that I found quite interesting. I recommend that family and friend's of loves one's with depression watch it. as the speaker; Andrew Soloman, articulates very well how depression feels.

TED Talk - Depression: The Secret We Share - Andrew Solomon  

Oh, How My Heart Is Breaking! #RIPRobinWilliams

I haven't been keeping up with my blogging or my art because after a long and harsh winter my depression took the better of me. I landed in hospital for a month while, and I am not ashamed to say so because I have a legitimate illness that needs medical treatment.

What inspired me to write today hearing of the "apparent suicide" of Mr Robin Williams.

We need to talk about depression and other mental illnesses more so that people aren't ashamed to ask for help. It takes all my courage and energy to fight for admission for hospital, but there are those who don't have the energy to fight the system in order to get the treatment they need.

In a day in age that we are shifting our focus away from institutions and solely looking at community living we are doing a disservice to people who need to be closely watched. I ask this question, would you deny somebody with a terminal illness admission to hospital to be treated? Probably not. Depression is a terminal illness unless treated effectively. 

I would like to end this short blog with a post from my Facebook page:

Dear Mr. Robin Williams,

I am sorry that the darkness of depression took you from us. May you find the peace that you couldn't find here on earth. I understand the pain that you were in, how the sadness tortures the soul. I have been there.

May your leaving this world not be in vein, Let's keep talking about depression and treatment for it!

You gave us all your laughter and didn't keep enough for yourself. May your legacy live on!

From,

A suicide survivor.

Using Creativity To Ward Off The Winter Blues...Waiting For The Spring Melt!

After hibernating over the holiday season I lost a bit of my creativity to the "winter blues". Although I have noticed this year that my Seasonal Affective Disorder has not been as bad as in previous years. I am positive this is because of the combination of exercise and making my jewelry. When I am feeling anxious and nothing seems to distract me from those feelings, I have been able to keep my hands busy by beading.

I find that beading keeps me out of the refrigerator when the "seasonal" cravings for carbs hits. I am a person that likes to finish things once I get them started, so taking a break just to raid the cookie jar is not a priority when I am working on a bracelet. In fact, beading is a total distraction to everything stressful that is going on in my life because I am able to get lost in the creative process. It is so important with mental illness to learn how to distract yourself from the negative thoughts, this is something that I am still learning how to do.

I know I am not completely cured and that I have a long road ahead of me. I more than likely will always have to deal with the effects of having a mental illness, however, I look forward now to the possibility of being stable. 

Mankind's Loss Today...

Today the world lost a great man who inspired many and fought for what he believed in no matter what the consequences were. Today, on December 12th, 2013, Nelson Mandela passed away.

While I do not pay much attention to political figures, there are some great human beings in politics that fight for the betterment of the human soul. These people remind us that we have power within in us to change our circumstances for the better. We may feel that our own individual lives are insignificant but we all leave our mark on the world that helps shape the future in some way.

I found a quote from Nelson Mandela that I can identify with when I think of my fight with mental illness.

I can only speak for myself, however, I think that many people who struggle with a diagnosis of a mental illness get caught in a trap of believing they are defined by their illness and what "a textbook diagnosis" is.

The question that I must ask myself at this point in my journey is "Am I living a life that is second to my diagnosis?" Nelson Mandela's quote makes sense to me now. Looking back I have lost my passion, letting my illness consume who I am and affecting how I communicate and respond to others, how I treat myself and the limits I put in place for myself. I need to break through the limits and find my passion again. 

Starting a Journey...

When we start off in school as children, we don't hold back and create art and most of us are very proud to take our works home to our parents. Many Mom's and Dad's hang their child's works on the fridge creating a gallery so family and friends can comment on how wonderfully talented the child is. Somehow, though, as we grow older we lose that freedom of expression in fear that our peers will judge us as "not good enough". 

Art cannot be wrong and can never be "not good enough". We need to get back to the days of Kindergarten when we didn't care if we coloured inside the lines or not. Creativity is a gift that we all carry in some form or another, it helps us release emotions including negative ones that may be self-destructive. 

So where do you start if you have never thought of yourself as an artist or creator?...My advice is to just pick up a medium (paint, pencils, clay, beads etc.) and just have some fun!

I started to really dabble in art a couple of years ago when I had to do a project for school. I found that it really gave me an outlet to deal with the depression that I was going through. I was surprised what I could create and ultimately didn't care what other thought...I knew it was "me" and I didn't have to change it for someone else. 

I am expanding my artistic pallet and most of all, I am having a good time!